Freedom, Faith, and the Courage to Be

🎶 When a Song Becomes a Mirror

There are songs we hear…
and then there are songs that hear us.

Freedom! ’90 by George Michael is one of those songs for me.

It doesn’t just play in the background—it pulls something forward.
Something honest. Something unsettled. Something long buried beneath years of faith, teaching, questions… and life.

When George Michael sings about freedom, I don’t hear rebellion.

I hear a man saying:

“I cannot live a life that isn’t true anymore.”

And that… strikes a chord in me.

🌿 The Freedom I Was Taught

I was raised to believe that freedom came through faith.

That:

Christ sets us free
Truth leads to life
Obedience brings peace

And I still believe there is truth there.

But somewhere along the way, I also learned:

What I could say
What I could feel
What parts of myself were acceptable… and what parts were not

And without realizing it, freedom became something else.

It became fitting in.
It became getting it right.
It became not asking certain questions out loud.

And if I’m honest…

That didn’t always feel like freedom.

🎭 The Masks We Wear

When I listen to Freedom! ’90, I hear George Michael tearing off a mask.

Not just a celebrity image—but something deeper:

Expectations
Fear of rejection
The pressure to be someone others approve of

And I have to ask myself:

How many masks have I worn in the name of faith?

Not because I didn’t believe in God…
but because I was afraid of what honesty might cost me.

🌈 Being Gay and the Search for Freedom

For those of us who are gay, the word freedom carries weight.

It is not abstract.

It is:

The moment you stop hiding
The moment you tell the truth—even if your voice shakes
The moment you realize you cannot divide your soul into “acceptable” and “unacceptable” parts

And yet, this is where the tension comes.

Because religion often says:

“Freedom is found in living according to God’s design.”

While the heart quietly whispers:

“But what if being honest is the only way I can live at all?”

⚖️ Faith and Freedom: Conflict or Invitation?

I have wrestled with this.

Still do.

Because I don’t want a freedom that leads me away from truth.
But I also don’t want a faith that asks me to live a lie.

So I sit in the tension:

George Michael says: “You’ve got to give for what you take.”
“I don’t belong to you.”
Faith says: “You are not your own—you are loved, known, called.”

And I wonder…

Is there a place where both can be true?

✨ A Different Kind of Freedom

What if freedom is not:

Throwing everything off
or
Forcing everything into place

What if it is something deeper?

What if true freedom is:

Living honestly before God, not hiding
Allowing love—not fear—to shape your life
Becoming whole, not divided

Not choosing between:

authenticity
or faith

But refusing to let either one destroy the other.

🌊 What I Am Learning

At this stage in my life, I am less interested in arguments
and more interested in what brings life.

I have seen:

Religion used to bind and wound
But also faith that heals and restores

I have seen:

Freedom used as an excuse to drift
But also freedom that brings a person into truth

And I am beginning to believe:

If something requires me to deny the deepest truth I know about myself,
it may not be from God.

And at the same time:

If something leads me away from love, integrity, and responsibility,
it may not be freedom either.

🎶 The Song Still Plays

So when I hear Freedom! ’90 now…

I don’t hear a rejection of God.

I hear a cry:

“I want to be real. I want to be whole. I want to be free.”

And maybe…

just maybe…

that is not so far from the heart of God after all.

🙏 Closing Prayer

Lord,
You who created us in truth and love,
meet us in the places where we feel divided.

Give us the courage to be honest,
the wisdom to seek what is life-giving,
and the grace to walk in both truth and love.

Free us—
not just from what binds us,
but into who we were created to be.

Amen.

✨ Closing Line (for your blog series)

We walk this path not as those who have all the answers,
but as pilgrims—learning, questioning, and trusting
that truth, wherever it is found, will lead us home.