Judging from a Distance
In business communications, we are taught that we make three judgments when meeting someone:
- The first when they are 500 feet away
- The second at 100 feet away
- The third when they open their mouth and speak
Before we know their story…
Before we understand their pain…
Before we see their heart…
We decide who they are.
And sadly, this doesn’t stop at the church door.
⛪ When Faith Becomes Judgment
During my years in the Free Will Baptist movement, I often heard us referred to—sometimes jokingly, sometimes not—as the “fruit-judging Baptists.”
We leaned heavily on Jesus’ words in the Gospel of Matthew:
“You will know them by their fruits.” (Matthew 7:16)
And somewhere along the way, that beautiful teaching about discernment became a tool for judgment.
Not reflection…
Not humility…
But conclusions about others.
I’ve seen it.
- A pastor who refused to let a woman sing in the choir because she had a child out of wedlock
- A deacon who would not allow the church to help a struggling single mother because she was “living in sin”
- An elderly woman labeled a gossip… who turned out to be one of the most generous souls in the church
And if I am honest…
👉 I have done it too.
🪞 The Mirror We Avoid
In the same chapter where Jesus said we would know people by their fruit, He also said:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”
And in The Message paraphrase:
“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults… That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.”
Jesus paints a picture that is almost uncomfortable:
- We see a speck in someone else’s eye
- While ignoring the plank in our own
We become experts at diagnosing others…
And amateurs at examining ourselves.
💔 Why Are We So Quick to Condemn?
The truth is, this is not just a church problem—it is a human problem.
But in the church, it cuts deeper because it carries spiritual weight.
Sometimes what we call “righteousness” is actually:
- Fear – of being associated with sin
- Control – wanting life to fit neat categories
- Certainty – believing we fully understand what only God sees completely
So we judge from a distance…
Because loving up close requires more of us.
✨ What Jesus Actually Modeled
Jesus never loved people from 500 feet away.
He stepped closer.
He touched the untouchable.
He spoke with the rejected.
He defended the shamed.
And perhaps most striking of all…
He reserved His strongest words not for sinners—
but for those who believed they were better than others.
⚖️ Discernment vs. Condemnation
There is a difference we must learn as pilgrims:
- Discernment asks: What is true?
- Judgment declares: I am better.
Discernment is rooted in wisdom.
Condemnation is rooted in pride.
One leads to understanding.
The other leads to division.
🤝 The Hard Work of Relationships
Relationships are not easy.
They require us to move past:
- First impressions
- Assumptions
- Labels
And into something deeper:
👉 Compassion
👉 Curiosity
👉 Grace
Jesus gave us a simple but demanding guide:
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Not when it’s convenient.
Not when they deserve it.
But always.
🌾 A Pilgrim’s Reflection
As I continue this journey—this Curious Pilgrim path—I am learning something slowly, sometimes painfully:
It is easier to judge a life from a distance than to love it up close.
But Christ never loved me from a distance.
He stepped into my story.
And if I am to follow Him…
Then I must be willing to step into the stories of others—not as a judge, but as a fellow traveler.
🙏 Closing Prayer
Lord,
Forgive me for the times I have judged too quickly,
spoken too harshly,
and seen only what was on the surface.
Teach me to see as You see—
with compassion, patience, and truth wrapped in love.
Help me to remove the plank from my own eye
before I reach for the speck in another’s.
And give me the courage
to love people up close.
Amen.
🌿 Final Thought
“We can size a person up from a distance… but we can only love them when we draw near.”
The Curious Pilgrim 
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