Chosen Family

LGBT persons have suffered rejection by friends and family due to religious teachings that declare being LGBT is an abomination. The greatest loss is the family. Growing up in a family is not easy for many people, regardless of sexual orientation. Often, families are dysfunctional and cause lifelong problems due to physical and mental abuse inflicted on children. The LGBT community suffers rejection that leads to loneliness and difficult relationships in adulthood.

Sitting at my dining room table, I realized what the dining room table symbolizes in a family and in the culture of society. The table is where the family gathers for meals, conversation, playing games, and doing work. It is the hub of family life.

In religion, the table is the symbol of the covenant relationship between God and the universe. The table represents God’s provision for life’s needs, including love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, and acceptance. The table is a sacred space where one can encounter God and receive God’s love from those gathered at the table.

LGBT persons are rejected from family tables and the table of God in many religious organizations. Yet, there is still a need for the family unit. So, LGBT persons can find family in what is known as a chosen family.

Here is my view of a chosen family:

Chosen Family (n.):

A circle of individuals—often fellow gay men or LGBTQ+ people—who form bonds of love, loyalty, and mutual support, not based on genetics or legal ties, but on shared identity, care, and the commitment to stand in for one another where blood relatives have failed to show acceptance.

This family:

  • Affirms who you are without condition
  • Celebrates your joys and mourns your losses as their own
  • Walks with you through pain, healing, growth, and becoming
  • Shares traditions, holidays, meals, and memories not out of obligation, but out of devotion
  • Is sacred, chosen, and fiercely real

My goal, my ministry, is to promote Chosen families for the LGBT persons who are alienated and rejected by blood relatives and by the religious organizations that deny them the right to participate.

I call this ministry The Siete, Spanish for seven. Seven is a symbol denoting completeness, spirituality, and mystery. In Christianity, it is the symbol of completeness and perfection. The number connotes transformation.

May God open the eyes of those who reject and provide those who choose to receive us as God’s children. May we learn the meaning of Galatians 3:8!

Prayer from the Daily Office

Prayer for Enemies

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth; deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you; through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.

Prayer for Social Justice

Grant, O God, that your holy and life-giving Spirit may so move every human heart that barriers which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease; that our divisions being healed, we may live in justice and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Servant of All

35 He sat down and summoned the Twelve. “So you want first place? Then take the last place. Be the servant of all.” Mark 9:35 The Message

The disciples of Jesus were discussing their position in the group. Some wanted to be the most important. They were arguing who is number one. We all want to be important. We want to be accepted and loved. We want to feel we matter.

Jesus called the disciples together and explained that God’s plan is not who is the best, who has the money, or who is in first place. God’s plan is compared to the role of a servant. Jesus told the disciples, be a servant to all. Paul writes in Romans 12, “ Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.”

Love is the key to the role of servant. Read this from I John 4,

20-21 If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.

Here is a song that we sang in church last Sunday that explains the role of servant

The Servant Song

David Haas

Will you let me be your servant?
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant too

We are pilgrims on the journey
We are travellers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load

I will hold the Christ light for you
In the night time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh, I’ll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we’ve seen this journey through

Will you let me be your servant?
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant too

Written by: Richard Gillard

Album: We Give You Thanks

Released: 1998

Consider the Wildflowers

“walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it?” Matthew 6:27-29

My sister, Sue, was 15 years older than I. She acted like my mother often. She lived up the hill from and attended the church i served as pastor. I visited her house several times a week.

One day, we discussed what I was wearing. I felt like the colors clashed. This prompted a discussion that led to the patch of pine trees in her backyard. She was a plant person. She could grow anything. However, this patch of ground in front of the pine tree grove was filled with all types and colors of wildflowers. As we stood there admiring the array, she quoted this verse from Matthew. Then she asked, o you see it?

I replied, “Well I see a lot of different types of flowers and all types of colors.”

“Exactly!”, she replied with a smirk. So why are you worried about your colors matching? Look how God designed everything.

God’s deign is different what we think or understand. Listen to what Paul writes in Romans 1,

But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can’t see:

God’s design is plain, but we don’t see it! God is love, and God created us to be in loving relationships with God, others, self, and the universe. Each person is spiritual, physical, rational, and emotional. Everything i in the universe is relational. The essence of God (God’s Spirit) is in all living things (Genesis 1 and 2). Human beings have free will. They can choose to love and be loved or to be selfish and uncaring. This is described in Galatians 5.

The love of God gives us the freedom to love and be loved. God’s love is demonstrated by the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus showed that rules and regulations do not apply in every situation. In fact, God’s love sets us free from the expectation of others and the demands of society so that we are free to be who called designed us to be. We are to be who we are.

This does not mean we can do anything we want. Jesus made it clear we are to treat others the way we want to be treated, and we are to love others as we love ourselves. Laws and government exist for a reason. What I describe and know is that freedom that God gives is the freedom to be who we are.

Paul writes in Galatians 3:28-29 The Message

28-29 In Christ’s family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal. That is, we are all in a common relationship with Jesus Christ. Also, since you are Christ’s family, then you are Abraham’s famous “descendant,” heirs according to the covenant promises.

This confirms that God does not look at people or the universe as we do. We classify and sort everything. We classify people by gender, race, ethnicity, age, education, income, etc. God doesn’t see humanity that way. Everyone is equal.

This brings us to the next part of the foundation of life. Life is sacred. We tend to look at things as holy and profane. The essence of God is present in all humanity. Sin is not breaking the rules or the law. Sin is the immaturity we exhibit by the choices we make. Some of us never grow up to act like children, regardless of our age. As we grow to be love and be loved, we learn how to love, live in peace, have joy, be gentle and kind.

When we realize that sitting down with a friend, drinking coffee, and talking to each other is a sacred event, we are on the road to understanding God’s design. When we realize that sleep is a sacred event, we will sleep better. When we understand that sex is a sacred event, we will move from lust to love.

May God open our ears that we see, open our ears that we may hear, and ipen our mouths so we may speak.

Life is Sacred

The seven sacred teachings of Native Americans can teach us a great deal about the universe in which we reside. We live in a world that likes to classify, sort, and separate us. We have decided that some things are more valuable than others. We consider that some people deserve respect more than others. We have divided existence into the holy and the profane. Is this the original design? Is the survival of the fittest the way things should be? One of the most important tenets of the Native American view that we destroyed is that everything is connected. There is an interdependence between all things in the universe. May the Great Designer forgive us for our greed that gives power to the richest, the most powerful, and the greediest. May we learn that everything is related. Life is about relationships and dependence. Every aspect of the universe deserves respect, value, and appreciation.

Trees and Diversity

Growing up on a farm in rural Mississippi before houses were air-conditioned, the two huge oak trees in the front yard provided shade and cool breezes on hot and humid days. After a morning in the fields, we had lunch in the shade. In the evenings, we sat on the porch and listened to sounds of dusk and night while we enjoyed the cool breezes.

We had fruit trees on the farm that gave us luscious apples and pears to eat and enjoy. The shores of the creek that ran by the farmhouse were filled with trees of every sort and type: pine, oak, elm, and many others. The trees and vegetation provided homes for all types of animals.

The world is made up of families and clans living in cities, towns, and rural areas. Diversity is God’s handiwork. Different types of trees exist together along a creek bank. There are no wars, arguments, or huge disagreements.

Why can’t people be like trees? Why can’t we exist in peace with different nationalities, ethnicities, races, sexual orientations, sex, and gender? Why do the rich want to control the poor? What makes white people feel superior? Why do the majority want to control the minority?

Why can’t we be more like trees? The world would surely be a much better environment to live.

Just a thought

It’s been a few days…

Wow, my last post was September 3, 2023. Today is September 17, 2023. Two weeks have passed. It seems only yesterday, I was attending first grade and now I am 73. We live in Chronos time or a sequence of minutes, hours, days, and years. But we also experience kairos times or fitting times. Karios time occurs when we know it is the right time to make a decision or institute a change. We call it the right moment or the opportune time. The right moment happened today as I posted this. You see, it has been 14 days of Chronos time (where we get the word Chronology) from the last post to this one.

For many years, I felt like we lived in a period of Ichabod (Exodus 25). Ichabod means the glory has departed. This refers to the presence of God leaving due to the sins of those who forsook God. I hungered to find the place where God is worshipped in Spirit and Truth. I have an Elijah who hid in a cave away from everyone including God. Elijah felt he was the only one still faithful to God. God opened Elijah’s eyes and he saw thousands of others who remained faithful to God. I had that type of experience today. I went to a different church today. God opened the doors of heaven and showed me there are people who still seek to serve God.

Worship

What makes a church a church?

Christianity involves attending formalized communal worship services, usually on Sundays (or Saturdays for Sabbatarian churches). These gatherings provide an opportunity for believers to come together, learn from the Bible, and fortify their faith. The term “church” in “church service” refers to the assembly of believers, rather than the physical structure where the service is held. In Christianity, worship is a reverential act of honor and homage given to God.

If Worship is a reverential act of honor and homage to God, who is God?  Some see God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit or three beings in one Godhead (The Trinity).  Some see God as Jesus only.  One may view God as Holy demanding that we follow a strict code of conduct that will guarantee a home in heaven or the eternal flames of hell when die.  One may think of God as love that will provide salvation for all. Every person who sits in a church service may not share the same view of who God is.  So, how do we worship God when we all have different views of who God is?

This question needs to be explored, for the gathering of people who come to worship need to know something about God and what it means to worship God.  Is God narcissistic? Is there more than one God?  The first commandment given to Moses states that God is a jealous God; and that God will not accept the worship of other gods.  What does that mean to the person sitting in the pew?

What acts of worship are appropriate? Does worship include the promotion of church activities? Some churches use technology in services to promote church activities and then take 5 to 10 minutes of worship time to promote the same activities. 

Each gathering of believers (a Local church) needs to define how the local church views God and how they will worship God.  This may mean changing the traditional methods of worship practiced in Christian churches that seem to be similar even though the church may belong to a specific sect of Christianity.

Who is God and how do you worship God?  Think about it.

What makes a church a church?

Americans think of a building, a denomination, or a place of worship, whether Christian or not. This misconception has been passed down from generation to generation as fact. To change this mindset is a monumental task. Part of the problem stems from the translation of Christian Scriptures into English and other languages.

The word translated in the Christian Scriptures (The New Testament) occurs only twice in the Gospels. Matthew 16:18 states, “18 Now I say to you that you are Peter (which means ‘rock’), and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.” The Greek word for church in this verse is ekklēsia.

Dr. Bernard Brandon Scott, the Darbeth Distinguished Professor of New Testament Emeritus, Phillips Theological Seminary in Tulsa, states, “The basic meaning of the Greek ekklēsia is assembly or gathering. In ordinary Greek, it most often refers to the citizens of a city gathering to decide political issues and less frequently to an assembly of the devotees of a god. It is not a religious word.”

Dr. Scott also asks, “How should we view these gatherings? They were small, normally five to ten people, maybe at times as many as twenty. They were occasions for eating, drinking, and discussing. They bear no resemblance to modern worship services but more resemble church suppers. The move to formal worship did not occur until the third century.”

Dr. Scott observes, “Seeing ‘church’ as a small gathering, most often in a home, around eating, drinking, and discussion suggests a shift away from institution to small groups based on personal relations.”

Have we missed the design for relationships with God and others by building expensive, gaudy, ostentatious, and ill-designed facilities that often last for a period of time? Have we created a power described in Revelation as part of the evil trinity? Why are people, especially young people leaving organized religion hungry for a spiritual connection that is personal?

The organizations, sects, and buildings called churches should listen to the words of Jesus about organized religion. We will discuss that next time.

Another Attempt

It’s a quiet day in my neighborhood. No cars are zooming by on the street. There are no sounds of people talking, walking, or shouting. It is a good time to meditate on God, the creator of us all, others I know, and myself, who I find to be a paradox of emotions and choices. Some choices have altered where I am, what I have become, and why I always attempt to make my voice known.

I have tried many times to blog, write a book, or share thoughts. I do it for a while and soon lose sight of why I try. I give up easily out of frustration, feeling what’s the use. So why try again. There is a prompting that pushes me to be involved even though I am an introvert. I enjoy being alone, for I often think I am far from what I should be, so who would listen. This is how Moses must have felt when God told him to go to Egypt and lead the children of Israel out of slavery. I am by no means a Moses.

So, today, I felt like sharing that I continue to learn and grow in my faith and relationship with God. I have withdrawn from organized religion in the United States disguised as a Church available under different labels, claiming they are the way, the truth, and the life. Something is missing in what I find in places called churches. What is it?

This is where I am on my journey. How about you? Where are you?